How Often Must I Forgive? - More Seeds of Hope

Today’s story seed is How Often Must I Forgive? From the Gospel of Matthew chapter 18, verses 21 and 22 “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” A woman opened up her journal, turned to the page where she was keeping her list, and she put in her latest entry. She wrote, “It’s past 10 p.m. and he is blaring the music again.” Pushing her black hair out of her eyes, she closed her journal and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. She was aggravated. She hated her neighbor. That’s why she was keeping a list of all the things he did wrong. On the day they met, he had called her “sister.” He was clearly not her brother, and she took offense, although she half-heartedly smiled at him. Later that night, when he was out of his apartment and his dog was barking, she decided she did not like this “brother” who lived next door. A week or two later, after he had left his stinking garbage bag next to his front door, which was only 10’ from her door, she started keeping a list of reasons she disliked him so much. As the months went by, the pages in her journal filled up—the smelly fish he liked to cook, jump roping in his room that made her glasses rattle, late-night parties with drunk people laughing while she tried to sleep. At this point she was looking for a new apartment to get away from this “brother” once and for all. She couldn’t find anything suitable so she was stuck living next door to the most inconsiderate imbecile on planet earth. She noticed that even when he wasn’t doing something annoying, she was still upset. She felt aggravated at work, and he was nowhere near. He left for the weekend. “Finally, some peace,” she thought to herself, but she couldn’t relax. She spent her time thinking about how offensive he was and how terrible he had made her life. She started plotting ways she could get even with him. Although she never acted on her plans, she thought about nailing his door shut, leaving her garbage in his doorway, blasting music when she knew he was asleep. These thoughts were the only joy she had. Such a sad story, but Jesus has a simple answer. Forgive. In reality, of course, this is not simple. There is a lot going on in this story that needs to be addressed. Forgiveness doesn’t mean there are no consequences to actions. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we become a doormat, or tolerate injustice. Chances are good that you are experiencing someone who is irritating to you, or has wronged you in some way. It’s natural to want to get even. However, the time spent hating someone, or plotting revenge, isn’t healthy. The world might tell you that it will make you happy, but it won’t. The joy of revenge is false. In AA circles it is often said, “Resentment is like swallowing poison and hoping the other person dies.” When Jesus tells us to forgive not seven times, but seventy-seven times, he is revealing one of the basic truths of a life lived to the fullest. Always forgive. Do not let your heart be burdened. This is for our good, as well as the person being forgiven. We all know it is not easy, but when it does occur, is it not a gift to ourselves more than the person being forgiven? Letting go of anger, resentment, rage, irritation and other troubling emotions is indeed a gift. Ask Jesus how to do it in your situation. You don’t need a calculator to know if you should forgive yet again. Forgiveness is always the number one choice. Now let’s take 30 seconds to water the seed… Who do I need to forgive?